The most important lesson in life is setting boundaries, no contest.
Because boundaries are what prevent you from being a doormat, from people walking all over you, from people taking advantage of you, from people bullying you, from people coming into your life and wreaking havoc.
When you don’t have boundaries as an individual, you set yourself up not only for failure but self-destruction.
Growing up, your parents might have taught you a little something called “sharing is caring”. They may have taught you that is not nice to say no. They may have taught you to always be nice and to share when people ask you for some of your stuff. They may have socialized you to be politically correct by way of the phrase “if you have nothing nice to say then don’t say anything at all”. They may have told you that brutal honesty is in poor taste and to say things with more tact and sensitivity. They may have taught you to always consider how other people feel when you say things. They may have taught you to always be nice to women, to treat them with respect and a degree of deference. They may have taught you that if you’d just be more like this person or that person that your life will go well and they would be happy. . .
Well, you get the point.
All of those things your parents taught you as a child were designed to make you more docile so people can take advantage of you.
All of them.
See, when you don’t learn to establish boundaries, to say no, to stand up for yourself, to not let people push you around, bad things tend to happen to you in life. You get bullied in school; you get taken advantage of by people who claim to be your friends but are really moochers; you become a social outcast and a reject; you become a pack mule for people of stronger wills; you grow up truly being alone because your parents taught you to be one way while the world is the complete opposite, projecting their angel complex on you and trying to make you into the second coming of Christ, setting you up to get nailed to the fucking cross by the sharks out there in real life.
Your parents are tyrannical in the household. They force you to be something you aren’t naturally. Sure, they’re supposed to socialize you to a degree. They’re supposed to teach you how to control your emotions and act with diplomacy, only using violence as a last resort when someone threatens harm upon you.
Instead, they teach you how to be a doormat. Not only for them but for society as well.
And then, they turn on you when you do decide to stand up for yourself and not be bullied. They admonish you and punish you for having boundaries, they take the side of the teachers and other children over you, and then wonder why you decide to never trust them again.
This is why children hate their parents.
This is why some kill their parents.
This is why some cut ties with their family and never deal with them again.
All because their family never taught them the importance of having boundaries. At least, for boys.
For girls, it’s a different story. . .
Girls can have boundaries. Girls can stand up for themselves. Girls can say no. Girls can learn how to fight and it be looked at as empowerment. Girls say whatever the fuck they want to say and it be looked at as honest. Girls are taught the importance of boundaries for themselves and how to manipulate others into disregarding their boundaries so they can take advantage. Girls are given the leg up.
Well, you get the point.
As a man, it is paramount you have boundaries. It is paramount you learn to stand up for yourself. It is paramount that your spine be strong enough to survive contact with a woman. In a world where women expect men to be doormats and to make endless concessions, having boundaries will rid you of most women in the dating & relationship game. And it’s a good thing, too. Why? Because your parents failed you as a boy by teaching you to be a doormat, by punishing you for having boundaries and rewarding you for being a yes-man, by taking the side of others over you in any altercation involving you and another, by looking at you as a ‘bad little boy’ demonizing you on a subconscious level, a level they are not even aware of.
I’m not trying to demonize parents. I’m not trying to make them out as evil people. I’m simply acknowledging where they failed and the ultimate reason why you fail as a man.
Your parents grew up in a world that demonizes men. They grew up in a world that takes women’s side over men. They grew up in a world that expected them to be doormats in their own families long before you were born.
The blame doesn’t fall squarely on their shoulders.
However, they are responsible for not only how their lives have turned out but for how yours played out as well.
Your circumstances are not your fault nor for how you were born. But it is your responsibility to fix it. And the number one way to fix it is establishing boundaries. There is really no other way to disabuse yourself of the notion of gynocentrism than by saying no and walking away.
When you establish boundaries, people will call you difficult, impossible, hard to please, infuriating, weird, a prude, a tightass, etc. When you have boundaries, people don’t like that and they try to punish you for it with social ostracism and rejection. Women try to blackmail you, manipulate others into believing bullshit about you, destroying your property, trying to get you fired, stalking you, etc.
When you establish boundaries, you will automatically cull alot of shitty people out of your life and you will be alone for a while.
I’m not going to lie to you; in fact, as far as I’m concerned, I’ve never lied in a post.
Establishing boundaries is the most important lesson in life. This is how you survive in this world. This place is cold, unforgiving, cruel, and cutthroat. People will lie to you, cheat you, steal from you, betray you, turn their back on you, kick you while you’re down, and take you out if it gives them the chance at substantial gain.
Stop letting people take advantage of you. Stop letting people bully you. Stop letting people shame you and guilt you into letting them mooch off you. Get rid of that ‘sharing is caring’ mindset, it’s not. It’s just another social convention to let people walk all over you.
Authentic kindness comes from the heart. It comes of your own volition, not from someone forcing you to do something you don’t want to do. Not from saying things you don’t mean because it is politically correct or ‘the right thing to do’. Not from tolerating disrespect from people just because their older than you and because they’re ‘family’.
Those people are not family, they’re just related to you.
Be kind of your own volition. Be generous of your own volition. Share because you want to, not because someone shames you and guilts you into it.
Stop letting people mooch off you and use you for their own ends and start focusing toward your won ends.
Hope this helps,