To learn that you were sold a dream, a lifestyle, a way of being you know in your heart you were never meant to have. To grow up in a system that conditioned you to believe in a universal destiny when the truth is there’s no such thing as one-size-fits-all.
The most painful thing in life is to learn that reality is colder, more cruel, and unforgiving than our parents, teachers, friends, coworkers, and societal influences would ever have us believe. To sit down at night thinking something is wrong with you because you aren’t in a relationship and don’t have a family of your own.
To sit down thinking your entire way of existence is wrong because you are not like everyone else. To think you are defective and diseased and weird because you weren’t meant to be like the masses. You weren’t meant to have holidays with the family, to talk about mundane things like t.v. shows, music, which celebrity did what with who, watching other’s be extraordinary while sitting in your comfy bed or couch judging on things you could never hope to do in a million years.
To realize that you are part of a dark and harsh reality that demands you abandon every fantasy you’ve ever had. To change your entire paradigm to be something you never would have chosen to be if you had a choice. To make difficult decisions and to sacrifice what you’ve been conditioned to want to pursue that which you truly need.
To let go of a lifestyle that, when you think about it, brings you temporary pleasure in exchange for pain and grief because it is out of your grasp and will always, potentially, be so. To know deep in your heart you were meant to be extraordinary, you were meant to be at the top, you were meant for greatness, to achieve something significant in your own life so that it may be of benefit to others as inspiration or a shining example.
To realize that even though you wanted a simple existence; you know, a wife, children, a functional family, a job you don’t hate and friends you can stand to be around for more than five minutes without wanting to punch them in the face.
Fact is, you’ll never have this lifestyle because too many people are fucked up in the head to even know what that looks like. And, even if you do find someone that says they want that, they’re not going to put in the same amount of work you do. Hell, they’ll expect you to do all the work in making yourself and them happy, which is ridiculous.
Not everyone lives in this dark reality, some people are living out the fantasy in blissful ignorance and to them, I say god bless. I wouldn’t wish this reality on my worst enemy. To those of us living with the fucked up truth, there’s really only one option that will bring us lasting fulfillment and satisfaction. . .
To be extraordinary.
Everything else be damned. . .