Most people think a relationship is where two people get together with one person being the center of the universe and the other person being a servant, catering to every need, whim and demand of the other.
Of course, if you ask people what relationships are they will preach about teamwork, commitment, mutual respect, honesty, loyalty and ever other cliché value you can spew out in a five minute conversation.
However, do these people really know what a relationship is?
My answer is absolutely not!
If they did, they wouldn’t put up with disrespect. if they did, they wouldn’t tolerate abuse, manipulation, blackmail, violence, stress, and every other negative emotion or state of being that deteriorates their wellbeing.
So, what are we going to be discussing in today’s post?
That’s right, what is a relationship, really?
The simple answer: a relationship is a battle for your values as an individual.
What do I mean by that?
Glad you asked!
What I mean is that every type of relationship you have whether it be with family, friends, coworkers, significant other is a fight to preserve your individuality and autonomy while building a life with the people around you. There are always points where you have to draw a line in the sand, a boundary the other person may not like but must respect if they want to be in your life, proclamation of not tolerating manipulation, control, and abuse.
Disagreements with family members, the occasional fight with your significant other, not liking your coworker after they did something ridiculous on the job. All of these are normal within relationships; however, this isn’t what I’m talking about.
I’m talking about the ultimatums, the sexual blackmail, the forced deference, the manipulation tactics to gain control. These are the points in every relationship that are battles for your values.
Now, what are values?
Honor, Integrity, Respect, Family, Love, Loyalty, Commitment, etc.
These are just some of the value that you, as a man, will have to defend and protect at all cost. To do so, you must place these values over everything and everyone as you are not fighting for the people that fit the description of those values but the values themselves.
You defend the concept of family, not the people in it. You defend the concept of Love, not the people you love. You defend the concept of Respect, not the people you respect or respect you.
Sound a bit harsh?
I won’t lie to you.
However, it is important that you put yourself and your values first at all times. Your values are the driving and guiding force for the man you become and the way you operate in relationships. You must understand that women usually try to gain control by using your infatuation with them and leveraging it to make you choose between them and your values.
Once a man loses his values, he loses himself. And, if he can lose his values, he never had them to begin with.
This is why it is immensely important for you to establish your values, write them down and reflect on them every day. Ensure you are living by the values and principles you set for yourself and the larger philosophy you establish for your life. That way, the people that respect those values and boundaries will come into your life and stay for the long run while the losers who don’t find the exit.
Being a principled man won’t get you women. It won’t get you all the pussy that bad boys and thugs get.
It simply won’t.
However, a question you should ask yourself is ‘why would I want a woman attracted to evil anyway?’
Ever cross your mind?
Not every man is meant to be a principled man; however, every man is meant to be his own man.
Establish your values and principles, live by them, and never compromise them for anyone no matter how much you may love or care for them. You are a human being and you deserve to be treated as such.
So, what are your values?
Hope this helps,