Hey guys, this is going to be another post about relationships.
However, this is going to be about one aspect of relationships that most people overlook when they’re infatuated with the other person, but is the most world-consuming thing that determines whether a relationship is healthy, toxic, or just outright abusive.
This aspect is who leads the relationship. . .
Take it however you want, but someone has to lead the relationship. There has to be a masculine and feminine role as that is the natural order of things, and, when the two forces are complimentary rather than combative, the two individuals conduct matters not only efficiently but effectively as well.
Now, what do I mean by the title of this post?
Well, I’ll tell you. . .
I mean stop letting the other person dictate how you move as an individual. The best relationships are when two complete, emotionally stable, and well-rounded individuals come together and, despite their differences, commit to building a new, unfamiliar yet exciting, and beautiful life together.
Now, I’m not telling people to put on rose-colored glasses because a relationship is anything but. What I’m trying to convey is that a relationship is a battlefield for both individuals. The man in trying to lead a woman to the promise land of a better and happier life. The woman in following the man’s lead and sticking around long enough, through thick and thin, to see the man’s vision come to fruition.
A relationship is more about commitment than romantic love (the honeymoon phase). Most people get stuck in that phase and when it comes time to put in the work to cultivate and cement a true bond, they quit. Most relationships turn into a battle for control and dominance, in which cases most women are emotionally, psychologically, and even physically abusive.
No, I’m not attacking women!
The very fact The Red Pill, MGTOW, and the MRM (Men’s Rights Movement) exist exemplifies that claim. When you ask most men why their relationships ended and whether they saw signs of incompatibility in the beginning, they say they saw the signs and didn’t pay attention to them as well as go through a litany of abuses they put up with with women in relationships such as sexual blackmail, psychological manipulation, emotional abuse (i.e. threat of abandonment, threat of divorce, threat of false accusations, threat of alienation from children).
Now, I’m not saying women don’t go through their fair share of bullshit in a relationship with tyrannical and physically abusive men. They most certainly do. However, just because most case studies on abuse and toxic relationships are reported and focused on women doesn’t mean the roles are never reversed.
It just means the case studies are about women and hide the fact that men go through shit too.
Now, what are some other things men go through during abusive relationships?
- Isolation– when the person rips you away from your friends and family through psychological conditioning (i.e. when you’re around your friends and your partner goes out of their way to show they are displeased, making your time with your friends uncomfortable and tense so you get rid of your friends to make them happy).
- Forced deference– When the person acts so ridiculously to the slightest disagreement as to condition you to walk on eggshells in not only what you say but what you do as well.
- Gaslighting– when a person’s actions (direct or indirect) are geared toward pissing you off. And, when you address it, they turn it around to make it seem like you’re the crazy one. This behavior is typical of narcissists.
- Vindictiveness– When you say “no” to your partner when they ask you for something (or to do something) and they use the infamous “Fine, be that way!” or “Fine.” in that tone that assures payback is coming (credit to Paul Elam for this explanation).
- Sexual/Romantic Blackmail– when one person dangles sex over the other’s head and uses it as a “loss leader”, extracting time, effort, resources, and life force out of the individual and giving half-assed, transactional, soulless, meaningless sex in return as a reward and expecting the other person to be grateful for that.
In my opinion, number five is the most common and worst of the abuses.
I’ll even give you a bonus, one that pisses me off to no end as it indicates that the person you’re with doesn’t give a single fuck about you as a person and sees you as a thing to be used to their discretion and disposed of when done with. It presupposes that they are a god and you a nothing but a mere mortal of no inherit worth or value, it is the ultimate (that should be a hint) devaluation of an individual, the most audacious form of abuse there is and should be an automatic breakup, I don’t give a shit how you you’ve been with a person nor who they are (mother, father, aunt, uncle, niece, nephew, son, daughter, grandmother). If they do this, you cut them off and never, and I mean never, speak to nor initiate any contact with ever again. . .for life!
An ultimatum. Plain and simple.
What is an ultimatum? I’ll tell you. . .
An ultimatum is when a person makes you choose between them and something you value, often the thing you value the most. it is a demand to sacrifice your identity, to compromise everything you are and everything you stand for, your soul, to show them you care about them or love them.
Any person that gives you an ultimatum needs to go, no exceptions!
Any person that is vindictive needs to go, no exceptions!
Any person that uses sexual blackmail needs to go, no exceptions!
Any person that gaslights you needs to go, no exceptions!
Any person that uses forced deference needs to go, no exceptions!
Any person that tries to isolate you needs to go, no exceptions!
This is not a joke. This is not a game. This is your life on the line, quite literally. If you don’t take heed to everything I’ve just discussed, you will be in a world of misery, hurt, and destitution.
Hope this helps,