Hey guys, today’s post will be about knowing when to walk away from a relationship.
First, what is a relationship? What does it consist of? How is a successful relationship cultivated and maintained?
The answers to those questions are coming up. . .right now!
A relationship is when two individuals with two different backgrounds (and sometimes the same background) and upbringings choose to come together and infuse their personalities and idiosyncrasies into unfamiliar territory to build a new and stable life.
Notice I didn’t say exciting.
The thing about relationships is they’re more about commitment than romantic love i.e. the honeymoon phase. Most people get stuck in that stage and want that to continue forever. The truth is the honeymoon phase is just that, a phase. Nothing more, nothing less.
In today’s society, most people get stuck with those rose colored glasses and the rollercoaster and excitement and novelty that romantic love offers. This is the main reason most relationships never truly begin and people are in this perpetual hookup culture, looking for love in all the wrong places, and broken people getting together thinking they can fix each other’s pieces.
This is not how relationships are supposed to go. . .
A relationship, like most things worthwhile, are built and cultivated over years of trial and error, going through conflicts and resolving them, sticking things out instead of throwing it away, both individuals being reasonable and rational in their expectations of the other person.
Most people don’t have the patience, time, interest, or caliber of character to engage in relationships in the truest sense. Most expect so much from the other person because they expect everything they lack. Notice how most women have ridiculous standards for men (mostly financial) and how men have ridiculous standards for women (typically beauty).
Everybody is so focused on finding that perfect person, that special someone, that soulmate that was made specifically for them. But, the truth is. . .that’ll never happen.
There is no one person made for you, there are people that are compatible or incompatible. The goal is to find the person that is the most compatible (or at least has the caliber of character) with you and to treat you the way you truly want to be treated, not the way you are used to be treated.
The first relationship you need to cultivate is the one with yourself. On a deep and philosophical level. You need to establish your values, your likes and dislikes, your interests and hobbies, your morals and principles. These things give you a strong and cemented identity as well as grounds to dictate the standard for how you treat yourself and how you expect to be treated in any relationship you have with another person.
The second thing you need to do is see yourself as a human being and to build your own world. Most people remain alone because they have a problem being alone and lack the ability to cultivate happiness within themselves. Building your world gives you a sense of reality about yourself, a sense of uniqueness that can’t be bought or manufactured externally. That uniqueness starts within you and is manifested through the external.
Third, you need to be content with being single. This means you’re not scoring the earth, slaying dragons, erecting kingdoms and retrieving the holy fucking grail in pursuit of a relationship. This is how you end up with broken, unworthy, raggedy, scumbag, sleezeball people! Be content with being single, be satisfied with being an individual. Be satisfied with seeing yourself as a human being and not a thing to be used by other people.
Yeah, I know this post is a bit longer than my usual posts but this topic is paramount.
Now, when to walk away. .
You walk away from a vindictive individual. You walk away from timewasters and manipulators. You walk away from sleezebags and scum of the earth. You walk away from childish and narcissistic people. You walk away from people who lack the character to function as civilized individuals. You walk away from people who lack personal agency. You walk away from people with a king, queen, prince, princess, god, goddess complex. You walk away from people who are sociopathic, psychopathic and show no regard for anyone when it comes to getting what they want.
You know the signs and the red flags so there’s no need for me to explain them. Trust your instincts and have the fortitude to get up and leave. You are a human being and you deserved to be treated with fairness, decency, and respect. Start acting like one!
Hope this helps,