Light In The Darkness (Poem & Video)

I never thought I would see the day the sun would rise again
So much struggle and strife, so much pain and yet I had to pretend
everything is alright after the deaths of hundreds and thousands of men
to stand up straight, refusing to bend

Sometimes the strength of a man's convictions begin to falter
not from lack of strength or lack of conviction but the task simply
being too great; when knees buckle and bones ache and minds get
exhausted and wills get weak, the situation begins to seem and feel
hopeless and those pessimistic yet contemplative thoughts begin to
cross one's mind. . .

Why am I here. . .?
What is my purpose. . .?
What the fuck is the point of all this. . .?

And then the rabbit hole slowly begins to open before the mind's eye
everything slows down and you suddenly lose all feeling of time passing by
the futility in all your efforts to make yourself seem anything but banal but
the truth is you're just a kid from a small town

Thrown into war with no rhyme or reason
committed to a group of people that move with seamless
grace as they lay siege to their perceived enemies, enemies
you know nothing about; enemies that have lived the same way
as you with the same circumstances, fighting for the same reasons
their generals and admirals have given them, following the same 
orders, carrying out the same actions with no permission to think
for themselves.

I stand alone in a sea of dead bodies both native and foreign
and the blood of men mix together and make a sickly crimson
that haunts me even till this day. . .

Does the fact I keep walking make me heartless?
Does the fact I have the will to go on make me thoughtless?
Does the fact I move and operate like an automaton mean my soul has departed?
Does the fact I can still smile make me human, for I can see the light in the darkness?

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