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For the average man, marriage and family are the epitome of existence. Just a place with a loving wife and children, a place where one cannot only raise a family of his own but expand the one he was already born into. A place where there can be good times, some bad but mostly good, good vibes and fond memories. Most men just want a decent life, nothing extraordinary, nothing out of this world. Most men just want to live an average life.
And there’s nothing wrong with that.
Most people don’t understand the climate of the world and what it would actually take to raise a family, to find a loving wife who will be a devoted mother to her children and a devoted wife to you, her husband. Most men suffer from cognitive dissonance and are disconnected from reality. Most men don’t understand how much work actually goes into a relationship, or how to correctly develop one over time.
See, most men didn’t grow up under the guidance of strong, masculine men. Most didn’t grow up in a two parent household. Most didn’t grow up with a father, a teacher, a mentor, someone who could show them the way to live as a man, as someone who will be respected and admired amongst their peers, someone who stood on principle and was 100% convicted in who he was as a man. Most men didn’t have that.
Which leads to what must happen in the minds of men.
What needs to happen is that men have to prioritize being men again and not chase women so much. Men need to focus on becoming high quality men vs becoming high value men. To put their wants, needs, and desires at the center of their existence rather than the desires of women and society at large. To align with themselves mentally, emotionally, physically, financially. And most importantly, spiritually.
It is time that men stop putting the world before themselves and start putting themselves before the world. Society is composed of strong individuals who congregate to create strong families that congregate to create strong nations. Society is an individual thing first and foremost before it is a collective thing.
The reason society is going down the shitter is because masculinity as a whole is going to shit. Men don’t know how to be men and are lost and confused and misguidance, having to look to 2500 year old philosophers and long dead historians for what it means to be a man of principle and integrity.
What has to occur is a paradigm shift that not only takes place emotionally and spiritually. However, since most men are either hyper-logical or hyper-emotional, it must occur mentally.
Men must start taking their time, effort, resources, health, and wealth seriously, as opposed to believing they have all the time in the world and chasing women is the best use of that time. Men have to stop living in this fantasy world, thinking that they can change their lives by snapping their fingers, thinking they have all the time in the world to mess around, thinking that death won’t knock on your door and strike you down with the scythe.
Yes, most of us have sufficient time to change our lives for the better, but, we waste so much of it that when we look back we feel regret, remorse, and even shame.
It is time that men start to think about themselves first as opposed to putting everything and everyone else before them. You need to have a degree of selfishness to be effectively selfless, as being selfless requires you to be at your best.
A worn down man can do nothing for himself nor anyone else. A worn down man can’t do what’s best for himself so that he can help others do what’s best for them, he can’t teach his children, he can’t guide his wife, he can’t lead his family when his father and grandfather dies, he can’t take his family to their destined promised land.
Now, I’m not saying that all men should be family men.
I’m also not saying that all men should be bachelors.
I’m saying that all men should live the life they love first before helping others, because a man that doesn’t live the life he loves will be incapable of loving others and, most importantly, himself.
Alright, that’s my spiel. Til next week!