- Philosophers are terrible with the ladies because they talk more than women do.
- Philosophy is the only college degree where it is appropriate to flush down the toilet.
- If you want to be a philosopher, all you have to do is think. . . which your brain doesn’t like to do because it’s lazy.
- Philosophy is simply the longest conversation in history filled with men asking questions that a) they didn’t have the technology to answer and b) weren’t conscious enough to answer.
- Philosophy isn’t chicken soup for the soul so much as it’s veggies for the brain. . . which it hates because it has the reward system of a five-year-old.
Alright, that’s my spiel. Til next week. . .